Disclaimer : I was a Beehive regular from early 2000 through early 2003. ATC got me off of the stuff, thankfully. Since then the place has changed a lot, at least on the surface - it's still the same as it ever was (a good thing until you get to know it) with the added "benefit" that none of the slingers who know me are here anymore, which is even less reason to stick around. I'm no longer aligned to the Beehive vibe and as such cannot deliver a favorable overview.
That said, the Beehive isn't a coffee shop so much as it is a daytime boarding house to babysit the hipster trash, high schoolers and college kiddies of Pittsburgh, none of whom remember the Oakland Beehive (which will show up in DCR at some point). To be fair, there are a number of Oakland Beehive Refugees and a few people who frequent the place in the same sense one would any other coffee shop, but the overall feel is one of a Seinfeld set, college cafeteria or student union. Tenants pay rent by purchasing the usual run of coffeehouse products.
Strong Points : I've met four out of six ex girlfriends here. There's a WAP, which means I can bring IRC with me. The expansion has moved the smoking area out of the "old" Beehive, which means it's possible to stick around for more than thirty minutes without getting a headache. In the hour or so I've sat here I've been checked out by several girls, which is more than I can say for any amount of time I've spent at The Upstage. Also a high propability of bumping into The Reverend Brother 342.
Weak Points : For me, just about everything else- especially since I've lost my hipster tolerance and lately prefer my life without the clutter of extras. The canned music has always sucked shit, and the Beehive has historically been a much stronger leech-magnet than other Pittsburgh coffee shops. The Beehive isn't a coffee shop, it's a lifestyle - and if it's not something you're partial to or easily seduced by, then all of the shortcomings are going to crawl right up your eyes, nose and ears - and they won't be quiet about it.
11:55 * y0shi takes off pants
11:58 < solios> heh.
11:58 * solios sits at the beehive and grumps at the hipster suck.
11:58 < solios> wiffy++
11:58 < solios> horrible lag though.
11:58 < solios> acc to my friend sean people fucking play WoW and CS here on their lappies.
11:59 < solios> the best thing about the WAP is I've effectively brought my friends with me. o_o
12:00 <@ejp> and we don't come out smelling like astroglide and cheap gin.
12:01 <@ejp> a win for everyone.
12:02 < solios> yes.
12:02 < solios> holy fuck this place is some kind of hipster holocaust.
12:02 <@ejp> why leave the house?
12:02 < solios> it's like everything Questionable Content is making fun of - the stupid clothes, the stupid haircuts, the "music".
12:02 < solios> because the landlord is bringing an assessor by. :P
12:03 * solios is getting 100k/s down off the wap.
12:03 <@ejp> ah. so it's either going to be sold, or rent will go up.
12:03 < solios> no.
12:03 < solios> he's using it as colateral for a loan. :P
12:03 <@ejp> ah
12:04 <@ejp> time to start with the pintsize quotes
12:05 * solios upgrades firefox.
12:06 < solios> ipod++ # dmx filter
12:07 < solios> (beehive coffee)--
12:07 < solios> randy wasn't kidding, it IS folgers and maxwell house mixed.*
12:07 < solios> >.<
The WAP is certainly the strong point. Even post-expansion, the Beehive still adheres to the Scott and Steve sense of cramped-is-hip, and people still very much live here - I'm seeing faces that were regular when the place stopped being a useable office, back in late 2002 or early 2003. A lot of this angst may be due to low blood sugar, but I'm certainly not seeing any improvements in the clientel. I've changed, and if they've changed, it's only on the surface. Two years off from this joint and the crowd looks like they've been set-dressed by a colorblind retard. I still cringe every time the door snap-squeals open, expecting one (or more) of the legion of local life-suckers to come rolling in, looking for a fix. As it's presently 1530 EST, the odds of this happening are only going to increase - case in point, the high school crowd is already oozing in.
The search for a useable non-Work non-home space continues.
* Even if it isn't, it tastes like it is. Boiled, coffee-scented ass. People definitely don't come here for the coffee- they either go to the Starbucks across the street or one of the Kiva Hans in Oakland. As Starbucks coffee tastes like battery acid, that says a lot for Beehive coffee - a Large House has been sitting on this table for twenty five minutes and I've taken two sips, the first of which inspired this entry. It's watery and it smells more like leftover coffee grounds than it does actual coffee. There's nothing to savor here, aside from the fact that the fumes seem to be searing my nose hair off, which saves me the trouble of grooming the stuff myself. I'd give the coffee the benefit of the doubt and say it's a bad batch or the dregs of a run, but I drank the stuff for years, and I don't remember the out-of-the-pot mess ever being anything to write home about. It's on a par with the swill at Tom's Diner, and Tom's coffee is cheaper with free refills (but no cream, no milk, no sugar or unbleached sugar - things the Beehive has in abundance - their coffee sucks straight but if you candy it up it's surprisingly tolerable- you can't candy Tom's coffee and you can't digest their "food," that's just how it is). Other formats (ground to go, iced, etc) are another story. |
